5 Bad Things I Learned/ Got from my Dad

From last year’s 5 Things I learned from my dad, I now bring you 5 bad things I learned/ got from my dad.

1. The Jingle Bomb Technique
He has this look that makes me run for my life. He’d start it with an enclosed hand which he will place in front of my face. The fast movement to open his palm would release toxic gases from his ass.

It didn’t take too long for me to master the art. Before farting, I’d place my hand on my ass, and upon release of the toxic gas, catch it, enclose it with my closed palm, and release it to the unsuspecting victim. That ladies and gentlemen is our signature killer technique.

2. Canon ball

When something small hits my face, and my dad is within vicinity, I’d be very wary, scared even. When I was a kid, we’d put up a contest on who’s booger/ snot we can collect into a larger ball. Then throw at each other like a small canon.

If your lucky stars have aligned, the “ball” will gladly stick to your face.

Eeeeewww.

3. Mana (Inheritance)

I learned how to sing “My Way” from my dad. I learned how to say “you’re pretty” to a toll gate lady.

I think I’ve also inherited his knack for complications, like matter to a black hole. Things have a weird definition of gravity.

Nuff said.

4. Junks galore

If you think I’m piling up junk with my treasures, you should see my dad’s. His don’t even carry any sentiment/ even memories that he’d remember. They’re mostly automotive spare parts, non functional electrical gadgets, old nuts and bolts, and all sorts of mechanic/ carpentry thingies. Things that he “thought” he might find use to, but never really did.

5. The call of Somnus

I sleep a lot. My dad does too. I was raised with an afternoon sleeping habit between 2-5pm.

I was told I’d never grow taller if I didn’t sleep in the afternoon. I slept. I tell you. I slept. ALL AFTERNOON of my childhood. Disappointed, I never believed any of them. Full of crap really.

Liars! Adults! Hmmpf!

Thus I stopped sleeping in the afternoon. But even after so many years, I’d still find my dad checking up on my sleep at night (though not anymore in the afternoon), slowly covering me with a blanket and sealing my sleep with a kiss on the forehead.

Thus, with all these…

I’d still try to catch my fart on my fist and have my brothers smell it.
I’d still make booger balls with my brothers.
I still say hi to toll gate ladies.
My junk still kept piling up but I can never really compete with my dad.
And I still steal some chances of sleep whenever I can.

Old habits are hard to change.

For all the good things, and even the bad funny ones… I love you dad. I think I’ve repeatedly said that here in the blog.

Happy Father’s day!

Other daddy posts:
Iyugyog mo! Iyugyog mo!
Flat tires and Fathers
Another Daddy Moment
Five Things I Learned From My Dad