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Monday, November 30, 2009



Do you need them? Are they really necessary? Or just unnecessary ornaments? Hanging on with each other like a bunch of nut crackers on a dusty old Christmas tree.

And as you travel through life’s arduous road…

You get drained from just being there for another, but at the end of each road, who will be there for you?

You become weak, trying to be the other’s strength. But at the end of the day, who will be strong for you?

And as the sun sets, when darkness drowns the world, you find yourself surrounded by constellations of stars and a merry shower of meteors…

But as the sun rises once more, and its rays creeping, slowly illuminating all that was once dark you realise you are but all alone.

After all, you fight your own battle. You lose your own game.

And to make it all worse, your greatest enemy happens to be yourself.


I think I overdid trying to understand people who feel like they’re just one superfluous extraneous matter in their own group… so much that I actually resonated the same feeling and dragged myself deeper into believing that all efforts investing on friendship are all such wastes.

And as I randomly write my thoughts, I realise I contradicted what most of my entries are all about. How beautiful friendship is (or was). Which made me think, have I lived out a fairytale and now have realised what the real world is all about? Or is it really all about giving… and receiving is only reserved to the beautiful and talented?

Oh well, I think I just need a vacation. I’m just thanking my dad for making my day happy bringing me my dose of Globake Siopao. I just love my siopao. It’s my only source of happiness now.

But I’ll be ok after a week or two. Or maybe three. Or four. Freak, I don’t care really.

All I know is…

I need to go to the beach!

(ganito pala ang feeling ng nega (-), ang lungkot pala talaga)

Saturday, November 14, 2009

The beauty of silence

We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature - trees, flowers, grass- grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence... We need silence to be able to touch souls.
Mother Teresa

1. I learned that silence can be deafening. It may even render more damage than a loud litany of woes.

I once fought with my step mom. But I never really said a word. Just stood there looking all pissed while she was yelling at me. Though I cried after, I think it was her who got all the wrinkles and hypertension (We’re ok now, don’t worry).

2. No body wins a debate. Both parties usually lose in arguments. And people usually win by mere silence.

Arguments only create a competitive environment. Everyone wants to win. No one would want to heed, nor stop to consider the other’s point and reason. I never really liked confrontations. Maybe because, more often than not, nothing is really resolved. Only a big gap, a chasm of awkwardness is created.

3. One appears smarter and wiser when in silence.

More words spoken, more mistakes. Might as well, think first before you speak. “Pakitang gilas” never really gets appreciated. And I hate “epals” who speak so much with never really anything in it. Just a waste of time.

4. People do not really need advise, they just need someone to listen to them.

People would often know what to do in situations. They just need an audience to support them.

5. One hug is just the loudest of all advices. It can create the Niagara in each of us.

When you see a friend in pain or in anguish, a silent one minute hug usually does more than an hour of counselling.

6. The clearest expression of Love and Lust is made in silence. The eyes usually do the talking.
Even strangers in malls can attest to this… not that I’ve done it. Just an observation. LOL

7. The saddest parts of movies are mostly done in silence.

Real life doesn’t really involve much dialogue. Telenovelas usually are exaggerations of how people converse while in anguish or in love.

My movie crying moments are usually those done in silence. I cried when Ellie and Carl in Up were silently living their lives as they silently bade goodbye to each other. Either that or the background music was superb.

8. A kiss, a hug, a smile, a pat, a touch, a wink, a nudge… are the silent ways of saying… you are cared for… you are loved.

No need to explain. Try them to experience.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Blessings of Friendship

A shoulder to cry on is not usually your own shoulder but someone else’s. A pat on the back would usually require a second person to do it for you (unless you’re a schizo or a contortionist or an itchy monkey).

No matter how we tell ourselves that we can live alone without the help of others, definitely someone’s presence can make our lives less lonely and more bearable.

Whoever you are, the old, the young, the grieving, the bereaved, the religious, the spiritual, strangers and thinkers… we all should not be alone in this world.

It’s not much of a need… but as an herb to a dish, it ads spice and flavour to a very bland dish. A friend is your rosemary and your basil leaf.

And just like a simple little cake… a cake is only a cake when eaten alone, but it is made more fun when eaten with a friend.

Thus sidekicks were invented. Solo heroes are just too lonely at times. And just for clarification, I’M Batman, YOU’re Robin.

We are encouraged to give out our time, space, hearts and mind to those who need them. Even to strangers.

But of course, we can only give out to those who are willing to receive. A lot would still want to tread all sorts of hardships alone. Some may do these to satisfy their machismo for strength, others… just because.

I just wonder how some of my friends would opt to go through life on their own and not share their woes to trusted friends. One friend would say that it wasn’t his thing, another said that he’s probably not comfortable showing a weaker side.

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. –
Proverbs 17:17

But a friend becomes a friend when he starts to get a peak of who’s behind that shell, don’t you think?

My Phi Chai once wrote that one wish he has as he goes through life is for him to leave a beautiful mark on each person he passes by. I once vowed the same. To be able to touch lives and share the goodness that this world seems to hide in sight. I found this to be one of my purposes in life. I may not be so rich as to be able to fund a big charity, but still I find joy being just a tiny speck of sand trying to cover as much shore in this salty sea.

But with friends whose egos and pride are higher than the highest tower and thicker than the thickest wall, I would have to find ways to reach out, even if I would have to do them secretly.

And with friends whose IQs are higher than my caloric intake, I would have to stop giving out my two cents worth of advice. They really won’t seep in through their thick oily heads. Thus, I now would resort to a mere simple hug. Love is, after all, the best cure for a worried heart. Love when given “in arms” heals.

Thus, to you, my friend(s), who I give out this post to… I would want you to know…

You have friends who care for you. You are not alone.

You have friends willing to share your troubles and help you out as much as they can. You just need to open up.

And definitely… with all conviction, truth and assurance… remember this…

You are loved.

A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend
who sticks closer than a brother. – Proverbs 18:24

*Super duper power hug* !!!!!

P.S. Don't just smell the tissue we gave you... there's a note inside it. Open it when you feel sad. :P

Tuesday, November 3, 2009


Gravity by Sarah Bareilles

Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.

You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your rain.

Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.

You loved me 'cause I'm fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.

Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.

I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you're everything I think I need here on the ground.
But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go.
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down

Monday, November 2, 2009

Top 10 Reasons ng Mga Single

10. Walang magkamali
- walang naglalakas ng loob manligaw, magparamdam, mangakit, o kahitmakipagtitigan man lang sa mall. LOL
So... asan ka dito?

Blogger's note: thanks to patrick's facebook for posting, thanks to http://www.kaththecrapout.tumblr.com/ for the pic.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Random Holloween thoughts...

First of all, happy holloween. Though I really don't celebrate it, i guess I'd just have to greet ya'll who does. Plus I think it's rather cute seeing all those kids dressed up in outrageous costumes... pft! parents! I'm lucky I only get to wear Spiderman/ superhero costumes on my bdays. haha!

I went to Davao and one of my doctor friend told me that they decorate their house for holloween and have kids and other invited guests do some 'trick or treating' stuff. i went back to Manila and reialised that same thing is being done here. I wish we could do this in our village. Even our supposed Halloween kada party didn't push through. im such an inggetero. hehe. and wow, I never realized Holloween became big already, specially in malls. I guess we reallyu are too westernized afterall.

I'm not going to the provinces right now. I need to relax at home a bit. Plus i never really enjoyed going to the cemeteries, I only get rashes and my allergic rhinitis would just act up like crazy whenever i go. Plus they're all dead. I don't think the dead really cares if we visit them in their graves really. it's just their bodies. O well, we all have our own doctrines, and I guess I might just create debate if i try to discuss this here.

Plus I'm trying to do a lot of reimbursements, that's horryfying already as it is.

Oh, and I'm tryign to look for "Paranormal Activity" on torrents or something. But i guess I need to install the freaky program first. Bset, can you do this for me? pleaseeeeee. haha! kidding.

Speaking of friends, I'm not hearing a lot from usual friends who used to text like 24/7, day and night. What happened? Magparamdam kayo! Sure sure, i may be a bit busy and cranky at times, but I need your constant text! sayang lang Unlitxt ko! haha!

Oh well, toiletots signing out.

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