Something always brings me back to you. It never takes too long. No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.
You hold me without touch. You keep me without chains. I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your rain.
Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity. Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be. But you're on to me and all over me.
You loved me 'cause I'm fragile. When I thought that I was strong. But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.
Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity. Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be. But you're on to me and all over me.
I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you're everything I think I need here on the ground. But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go. The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down
First of all, happy holloween. Though I really don't celebrate it, i guess I'd just have to greet ya'll who does. Plus I think it's rather cute seeing all those kids dressed up in outrageous costumes... pft! parents! I'm lucky I only get to wear Spiderman/ superhero costumes on my bdays. haha!
I went to Davao and one of my doctor friend told me that they decorate their house for holloween and have kids and other invited guests do some 'trick or treating' stuff. i went back to Manila and reialised that same thing is being done here. I wish we could do this in our village. Even our supposed Halloween kada party didn't push through. im such an inggetero. hehe. and wow, I never realized Holloween became big already, specially in malls. I guess we reallyu are too westernized afterall.
I'm not going to the provinces right now. I need to relax at home a bit. Plus i never really enjoyed going to the cemeteries, I only get rashes and my allergic rhinitis would just act up like crazy whenever i go. Plus they're all dead. I don't think the dead really cares if we visit them in their graves really. it's just their bodies. O well, we all have our own doctrines, and I guess I might just create debate if i try to discuss this here.
Plus I'm trying to do a lot of reimbursements, that's horryfying already as it is.
Oh, and I'm tryign to look for "Paranormal Activity" on torrents or something. But i guess I need to install the freaky program first. Bset, can you do this for me? pleaseeeeee. haha! kidding.
Speaking of friends, I'm not hearing a lot from usual friends who used to text like 24/7, day and night. What happened? Magparamdam kayo! Sure sure, i may be a bit busy and cranky at times, but I need your constant text! sayang lang Unlitxt ko! haha!
Pero aminin nyo… masarap at nakakmiss ang feeling ng kinikilig.
Kelan ba ung huling beses na napangiti kayo sa kawalan dahil bigla nalang bumulong sa inyong utak ang pamilyar na boses ng isang tao hanggang sa sumilip ang kanyang mata at tuluyan na ngang dumungaw at natanaw ang mukha nya sa iyong alaala?
Diba ang saya?
Naalala ko lang ang komentong ito nang sa limang besses ngayong araw (na umabot hanggang gabi) galing sa limang magkakaibang tao ang nag tekst sakin ng mga kalungkutan nila. Me isang galing sa isang failed date (kasalanan ko ata at pinakilala ko sila). Ang pangalwa naman ay nagsasawa sa buhay mag isa kahit na tuloy tuloy ang magagandang pangyayari sa buhay nya.Kabaligtaran naman ang pangatlo sa pagkakaroon ng masasaklap na mga pangyayari at wala syang kadamay. Ang pang apat ay kakabreyk lang sa kanyang irog. At ang pang lima ay hinahanap ang walang closure na ex.
Napansin ko lang… minsan kasing umikot ang mga mundo nila sa isang tao, o sa isang ideya. Namimiss lang nila ung ideya na me kaakap, kadamay, kausap, kasangga, at ung isang bagay na di ko pwede banggitin sa napaka wholesome kong blog. Basta pag nakalimutan nyong nabuhay kayong magisa, at minsan lang nagkaroon ng kasama…
Dito siguro nagiging impraktikal ang pagiging romantiko.
Wag nyo lang sana paabutin dito at paikutin ang sarili sa ganitong pag iisip ay magiging ok naman kayo.
Sa pagiging romantikong impraktikal sinisilang ang mga Emolords. Madami akong kilalang mga batang Emolords. At hindi sila masayang kasama. Nakakdrain ng dugo.
Pero sa tamang timpla, ok maging romantiko. Nagbibigay ito ng ngiti sa iyong mga labi. Wag lang sosobra kasi mapagkakamalan kang baliw.
Pero tandan, hindi lang sa BF o GF o asawa pwedeng iapply ang pagiging romantiko. I-channel ang pagiging romantiko sa pagiging sweet sa mga kaibigan. Mahirap kasing kinikimkim ang pagiging romantiko, nakakabaliw lang talaga ito.
Ano ba ang gusto kong sabihin? Ay wala lang naman. Gusto ko lang mag ipon ng mga positive energy dahil naubusan ako ngayon araw. Limang oras ako nagtytype ng mga pagcocomfort. Kinonti-an ko nalang dun sa mga alam kong mature naman. Dinamihan nalang dun sa mga tingin ko’y me suicidal tendency. Sa huli, para nalang matapos, nag book ako ng kadate dun sa isa. Pwede nako magtayo ng speed dating service.
Basta… ano ba alam ko sa mga bagay na ito. Di dapat yata ako ang tinetext nyo, si Ewik siguro dapat. Mas madaming alam un. Katawan ko lang ata ang kaya kong i-offer na solace sa kalungkutan nyo. Di ko kayang magpayo. Mas madami pa siguro akong pagkakamali sa pagiging romantiko ko kahit pagsamasamahin nyo pang lahat ang kaeklatan nyo. Kaya di nako magpapayo, makikinig nalang ako.
Pero para sa mga naiinip na sa kakaantay… pakinggan nyo nalang si Michael Buble… “I haven’t Met you yet.”
i never liked numbers until i watched you do math.
and somehow between the derivatives and the way you made the calculations dance, i fell in love with the logical precision of how they added up, the poetry you weaved on graphs with a pencil behind your ear and a slow smile curling your lips. and when i sat on your lap, counted the kisses, multiplied the desire, divided the distance and subtracted the inhibitions, i decided i might be mathematically inclined after all.
i never liked roller coasters until you took me on one.
and somehow between the buckling down and the gripping your hand as the car shook forward, i fell in love with the stomach-dropping, jaw-aching beauty of letting go and finding yourself flying instead of falling. and when i looked over and saw your grin stretching your face and your quick laugh getting stolen by the wind, i decided that i might like losing control and free-falling after all. i never liked the rain until you danced with me in it.
and somehow between the getting soaked and the holding you close as your breath steamed against my ear, i fell in love with the passionate way it bulleted against the ground and the way i could fling my heart in the sky and watch it shower down around me. and when you dipped me low and caught my mouth, i decided i might like the way the storm raged around us and the way we were completely and utterly alone after all.
and i never liked falling in love until you dragged me down.
and somehow between the tripping and the falling on my face, i fell in love with the way you caught me before i scraped my knees and the way you made it the most beautiful thing i’ve ever seen. and when you spun me out into the star-studded night, when you swept me off my feet, when you kissed me boneless, i decided i might enjoy breaking myself apart for you after all.
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Blogger’s note: I don’t have the luxury of time to write a new post, thus, whoever wrote this one, thank you thank you for putting into words what my heart longed to say.
And as for laughing and dancing in the rain, that’s one thing I so wanted to do with someone. Sana magawa ko minsan. Kinilig lang ako ng sobra hahaha! Kiddin’
Kayo po na naka upo, Subukan nyo namang tumayo At baka matanaw, at baka matanaw na nyo Ang tunay na kalagayan ko
Ganito kasi yan eh...
Verse 1:
Tao po, nandyan po ba kayo sa loob ng Malaking bahay at malawak na bakuran Mataas na pader pinapaligiran At naka pilang mga mamahaling sasakyan Mga bantay na laging bulong ng bulong Wala namang kasal pero marami ang naka barong Lumakas man ang ulan ay walang butas ang bubong Mga plato't kutsara na hindi kilala ang tutong At ang kanin ay simputi ng gatas na nasa kahon At kahit na hindi pasko sa lamesa ay may hamon Ang sarap sigurong manirahan sa bahay na ganyan Sabi pa nila ay dito mo rin matatagpuan Ang tao na nagmamay-ari ng isang upuan Na pag may pagkakatao'y pinag-aagawan Kaya naman hindi niya pinakakawalan Kung makikita ko lamang siya ay aking sisigawan
Chorus:
Kayo po na naka upo, Subukan nyo namang tumayo, Baka matanaw, at baka matanaw na nyo Ang tunay na kalagayan ko
Verse 2:
Mawalang galang na po Sa taong naka upo, Alam niyo bang pantakal ng bigas namin ay di puno Ang ding-ding ng bahay namin ay pinagtagpi-tagping yero Sa gabi ay sobrang init na tumutunaw ng yelo Na di kayang bilhin upang ilagay sa inumin Pinakulong tubig sa lumang takuring uling-uling Gamit lang panggatong na inanod lamang sa istero Na nagsisilbing kusina sa umaga'y aming banyo Ang aking inay na may kayamanan isang kaldero Na nagagamit kapag ang aking ama ay sumweldo Pero kulang na kulang parin, Ulam na tuyo't asin Ang singkwenta pesos sa maghapo'y pagkakasyahin Di ko alam kung talagang maraming harang O mataas lang ang bakod O nagbubulag-bulagan lamang po kayo Kahit sa dami ng pero niyo Walang doktor na makapag papalinaw ng mata niyo Kaya...
Wag kang masyadong halata Bato-bato sa langit Ang matamaay wag magalit O bato-bato bato sa langit Ang matamaan ay Wag masyadong halata Wag kang masyadong halata Hehey, (Wag kang masyadong halata) (Wag kang masyadong halata) Yeahhey...
Warning: this might be along post to others, thus you also have the option of just listening to the podcast.
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Ondoy, then Pepeng, practically left us all Filipinos at a standstill… crops all drenched, fish all washed away to the shores, houses submerged, cars overturned.
But then the standstill went on over to a "rampage". A rampage of what we Filipinos often times call… Bayanihan.
Could all these disasters be man made? Caused by our own inequities and disregard towards the laws of nature? A very possible fact.
Could all these have been allowed by God to teach us a very valuable lesson? A most daunting reason for if so, we must be doing something really wrong.
I’ve embedded above what our pastor has to say to all of these. Some of which are funny facts, but they speak much truth. This is also one of the few instances that we hear him bring up the facet of politics in all of these.
I’ve transcribed some of the highlights, but I do implore you all, please do listen to the podcast. I usually write posts for myself and care not if these are being read, but this time, I find real importance in sharing this all to you. Kindly share these as well to others.
Now, let us juxtapose our recent storm with that underwent by Jonah (please take note that below is not the exact transcript of the podcast above but is a mixture of the blogger’s own thoughts and that of the podcast minus some of the political insights). THE STORM
Jonah was called by God to go to the great city of Nineveh to preach, but instead, Jonah headed on the opposite direction and tried to flee from God. (Read Jonah 1: 1-3)
Then the Lord sent a great wind on the sea, and such a violent storm arose that the ship threatened to break up… Jonah 1: 4.
Can this storm be described as a godly call, caused by human disobedience, and perhaps be man made (or at least induced)?
I think so.
With such a storm, the most natural reaction of anyone, would be fear… and the most likely action after is to pray.
Sometimes these are often wake up calls for us all who have forgotten how to call on His name. “Storms” can make people remember God. “Storms” can make people realise what’s truly important.
Also, in other instances, the most insensitive reaction or rather (in?)non-action, would be to sleep on the situation.
Most of us would actually do this in times of our own “storms” and Jonah is no exception.
…But Jonah had gone down below deck, where he lay down and fell into a deep sleep. Jonah 1:5
And what did the other men in the boat do? As accustomed to being faced with a problem, they had to find out the cause and the most likely solution. And all sorts of investigation pointed towards Jonah.
But what to do? Jonah then gave them the most obvious answer. Jonah fled from God’s grace and disobeyed His commands. The most obvious solution is to bring Jonah back to God’s mercy.
Pick me up and throw me into the sea. He replied. And it will become calm, I know that it is my fault that this great storm has come upon you. Jonah 1: 12
But the kind sailors instead did their best to row to land instead of heading to Jonah’s request. It was, after all, a brutal thing to do throwing someone out to sea. And with how they treated a problem, they remind me so much of Filipinos. Ready to tread sorts of hardship… “magtiis” becomes like air we breathe. And in times of disasters, we hold on to ourselves, not even to our politicians, but to private citizens willing to help out in their own private ways.
But since the storm was after all, allowed by God, who are they to combat its wrath. Left with no more choice, they then resorted to throwing Jonah off the boat.
They then took Jonah and threw him overboard, and the raging sea gre calm. Jonah 1: 15
And as we all know of the story, God provided one big fish to house Jonah for three days and three nights till the fish was ready to spit him out to shore.
The fish was an instrument of divine restoration for Jonah. In it was made “Jonah’s Prayer” which I bid you all to look at (Jonah 2: 1-10).
And to those who does not know, the story did not end with Jonah on the shore. Jonah then went out to the original plan of God to go to Nineveh and preach his word.
HOW IS THIS RELATED TO OUR PRESENT STORM?
Each of us may as well be symbols of Jonah who in times of “storms” sleeps off solving problems we ourselves have caused.
Or the Jonah who had treaded out of God’s laid out path, politicians who have neglected their duties, bystanders who have been incessantly and unmindfully throwing trash just anywhere. But in the same manner, we can also be the Jonah who have repented, faced all consequences, mended faults and finally was able to appease the cause of the storm. Change is after all, what we need, and it comes and start from within.
The storm can be a symbol of our ACTUAL/ LITERAL storms, or they can also be SPIRITUAL, EMOTIONAL or even POLITICAL. Each of us has their own storms.
Storms that have led to the flooding of streets with clogged drains out of our own trashes; overflowing of our rivers due to the lack of original water/ river paths which we have “reclaimed” to be new lands.
And sometimes we forget why our ancestors built their houses on stilts such as our bahay kubo. Aside from the heat, the elevation protects them from water rising, Tagalog after all means Taga-ilog (which manila originally had plenty of).
And my most favourite character in the story is the Fish.
Notice the use of the fish. It was used as a vessel to isolate, teach, be humbled, guide, navigate and deliver Jonah to his “Nineveh.”
Three days and three nights were spent on self restoration.
And notice that it was when they threw Jonah out that the storm suddenly stopped.
And I firmly believe that with the recent storm that we went through, we were somehow able to throw out our own Jonah’s.
And along with this reason, I believe that the second storm that was supposed to hit Manila again didn’t push through also because MANY HAVE PRAYED.
It’s funny how recent events, wether the death of a democratic icon, the destruction of homes by a storm has brought out the best in all of us.
And as we continuously throw out the “bad Jonah” in us, we are continuously placed in our own “Fish” for our own correction, restoration and redirection.
And whether or not there’s truth to outrageous rumors of having the “end” being near, I think God is still good, making us ready for that day.
So, what “Jonah” have you thrown out recently?
Or shall we throw out the Jonah in the Malacanang palace? (sorry my own attempt to humor).
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Special thanks to:
Day by Day Christian Ministries Techie stuff divisision for the cd copy. And since I don't have much time in my hands, thanks to friends who have helped me out in splicing, file convertions.. techie things that I really wouldn't know anything about and for uploading in podbean. Now... back to work, back to work... see you next weekend! But I do have some autoposts for you in the coming days. hehe.
Just one toxic mind defecating his thoughts for ya'll to see.
Suicides happen mostly in toilets, people cry their hearts out in their bathrooms after a bad break up... but even if darkness and filth surrounds us toilets, great things were born out of the toilet throne... Thus I shall call this page, these thoughts, these musings... the Toilet Thoughts of a Toxic Mind.
