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Monday, November 30, 2009

(-)

Friends.

Do you need them? Are they really necessary? Or just unnecessary ornaments? Hanging on with each other like a bunch of nut crackers on a dusty old Christmas tree.

And as you travel through life’s arduous road…

You get drained from just being there for another, but at the end of each road, who will be there for you?

You become weak, trying to be the other’s strength. But at the end of the day, who will be strong for you?

And as the sun sets, when darkness drowns the world, you find yourself surrounded by constellations of stars and a merry shower of meteors…

But as the sun rises once more, and its rays creeping, slowly illuminating all that was once dark you realise you are but all alone.

After all, you fight your own battle. You lose your own game.

And to make it all worse, your greatest enemy happens to be yourself.

------------------------------

I think I overdid trying to understand people who feel like they’re just one superfluous extraneous matter in their own group… so much that I actually resonated the same feeling and dragged myself deeper into believing that all efforts investing on friendship are all such wastes.

And as I randomly write my thoughts, I realise I contradicted what most of my entries are all about. How beautiful friendship is (or was). Which made me think, have I lived out a fairytale and now have realised what the real world is all about? Or is it really all about giving… and receiving is only reserved to the beautiful and talented?

Oh well, I think I just need a vacation. I’m just thanking my dad for making my day happy bringing me my dose of Globake Siopao. I just love my siopao. It’s my only source of happiness now.

But I’ll be ok after a week or two. Or maybe three. Or four. Freak, I don’t care really.

All I know is…

I need to go to the beach!

(ganito pala ang feeling ng nega (-), ang lungkot pala talaga)

13 mga umutot:

jonathan said...

Whether we decide to believe the true beauty or to summon the illusory meaning of friendship, it is best to live our own lives first. I am learning many lessons and what's presently bothering you is but normal yet emotionally draining. Take a rest, free your mind, and God bless!

Anonymous said...

reach out jeff please, mahirap magbasa between the lines..

i know you'll be okay. that's all i could or we could do, to lay our faith on you.

i remember a dear friend, who said he was so tired for being there for people..all the time he was reaching out to most people. i offered my help but i could not really offer anything at all.. naawa ako sa kanya, naiinis ako sa sarili ko. guilty ako. naabuso ko sya. i realized he knows so much about me, he helped me alot, pero sa equation ng pagkakaibigan i barely know him during that time. i really wished he opened up.. but all i could do nga was to lay my faith. siguro naman hindi masamang magtiwala at maniwala na malalampasan nya ang pinagdaraanan nya.

i am really aiming to tell you this affront.. sorry hindi sa nakikialam ako, pero yun ang nakikita ko minsan sa mga tao at kahit ako, when we need help, there are times WE expect our FRIENDS to read between the lines.

sencia na..

i don't know if this will comfort you. even though i don't know who you really are or becoming to be, the footprints you left in my heart is always cherished.

Boying Opaw said...

we are born alone. we will die alone. unless may siamese twin ka at hindi niyo naisipang paghiwalan ang isa't isa.

pero hindi ibig sabihin nito na we will spend our lives alone. agree ako kay anonymous. for pete's sake, REACH OUT!!!!! hindi lahat ng friends ay psychic at nababasa ang utak natin. iko-quote ko na naman ang manager ko. sabi niya, "communicate well." minsan may mga pagkakataon na no matter how we send out the right signals, people will just read them the other way. and sometimes, people read us right pero takot lang sila mag-react/umaksyon kasi baka mali pagkaka-gets nila.


pakealamera,
Boying Opaw

wanderingcommuter said...

tatampalin kita e! SPANK... well, nagkataon lang kakaiba ang mga friends mo and that makes them special.

oxa fine, bibigyan na kita ng biscocho at butter scotch. alam ko naman ito lang ang pinagsimulan ng lahat!

:)

citybuoy said...

i hope u cheer up! :D i understand kasi when i'm down, gusto ko pinalilibutan ako ng maraming tao. i think it stems from my fear of being alone. but once that nega virus attacks, kahit isang batalyon pa ng friends ang mag come to the rescue, wala na. you just have to sit tight and wait till you feel better.

btw, it was nice to meet you!

Yj said...

friends are essential.... true....

but i have to agree with these guys... live your life first and then try to reach out....

nagka idea ako kay Jonathan... parang gusto ko bigla gumawa ng bagong music video....

free your miiiiiiiiiiiind, and the rest will follow... oh yeaaaah....

hugs....

Toilet Thoughts said...

@Phi jon: yeah, i think i'm going to live my life first. thanks!

@anonymous: thanks. but in reality for people like me, mahirap mag open ng problem kasi alam ko naman ang solusyon, and most often, mababaw lang ang problema and friends will mostlikely brush it off as insignificant, so what's the use diba?

@Boying: haha pakialamera tlga. joke. same din ng sinabi ko kay anon ung sayo. how to reach out when you feel rather insignificant to others. Or siguro napagod lang ako, I just want to feel appreciated. as if, haha, drama. joke lang. hehe.

Toilet Thoughts said...

@ewik: hindi ako nadadaan sa biscocho at butterscotch. plus nakadiet ako. hehe. at ung iniisip mo? hindi pa un ung rason.

@citybuoy: twas nice seeing you too. and I'm happy for you both. *winks*

@YJ: sakit ka sa ulo anong video nanamn yan? haha.

Skin Ed said...

hoy, bata!

kung ang problema ng friend mo ay nawawalan siya ng kendi, hindi mababaw yun kasi friends kayo.

hahahahaha.

pakealamera talaga,
Boying Opaw

aliping binabahay said...

gusto ko lang ipaalam sa iyo na na-appreciate kita at ang pag-reach out mo sa akin. walang hanggang pasasalamat (haha, talagang may ganun?)

tingin ko may mga oras na kaya nating harapin ang problema natin mag-isa, at may mga pagkakataong kailangan natin ng mga kaibigan. yung tipong matatanungan mo ng opinyon kung ok ba sa ganitong halaga ang isang bagay na ibinebenta sa iyo. at kahit hindi maalam ang kaibigan mo tungkol sa bagay na ibinebenta ay mag-eeffort siya na alamin ang sagot dahil para sa kanya, walang distinction ang mababaw at malalim na problema ng isang kaibigan.*winks* siguro pangit yung example hehe, pero ang gusto kong ipunto, may mga taong hindi ipinagwawalang-bahala ang problema ng isang kaibigan, gaano man ito mag-mukhang mababaw sa unang tingin.

magre-react na din ako sa sinabi mo "and most often, mababaw lang ang problema and friends will mostlikely brush it off as insignificant" --> siguro nga tama ka. pero warn din kita na minsan kung ano ang iniisip mo, naiimpluwensyahan mo ang mga pangyayari. kumbaga sa katawan, psychosomatic. iniisip mo na babalewalain ka ng mga tao ang problema mo, kaya binabalewala ng mga tao ang problema mo.

ayun, nagpapaka-profound lang. hehe :p

Toilet Thoughts said...

@alipin: wala na akong masabi... kundi salamat tol.

(natameme ako sa mga sinabi mo, haha, salamat ulit)

Jack's Pad said...

"I just want to feel appreciated."

Hmm. You know how much I appreciate you, right? There. ^__^

Jack's Pad said...

Teka natawa ako sa sarili ko. Ang late na ng reply ko hahaha! Kasi naman yung sa Multiply ang nabasa ko, di ko naman alam na mas masustansya pala ang mga comments dito hehehe!

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