Someone's Huling El bimbo

at kahit hindi rin naging kami sa huli... siya pa rin ang first love ko
(1)

I’ve been itching to blog about this for a long time already, but I dared not to, just to avoid jumping into the bandwagon of this Mcdo commercial craze. But I guess the itch was stronger than that caused by my brother’s hair lice, plus the fact that I love the e-heads.

And no, I’m not mourning over an old love, I’m perfectly happy where I am right now.

It starts with the camera confusion amongst the adults (it gave me a bit of a headache), until it pans to the two cute little kids who then grew up, still in the same Mcdo branch. (don’t they renovate?) The boy, all grown up, realizes that his first love now has a family (and a life) of her own. Then the popular line comes full blast. Paper cut. Gazillions of paper cuts. And I felt my heart bleed after that.

Bitter sweet. Like eating Toblerone dark chocolate, while crying over mem’ries from the twilight zone. Nuni nuni nuni nuni nuni

Right after the mind-stamping “pa-cheeseburger ka naman” comes this emo $#!+@. Geee! Thanks, McDo.

And then I realize, we all have our “huling el bimbo” moments… of dreams that were there but never materialized; of success that was just around the corner but we never really reached, and of course, of love that was wonderfully innocent but never really lasted.

Magkahawak ang ating kamay at walang kamalay-malayNa tinuruan mo ang puso ko na umibig na tunay (2)

It’s like lying on your rusty rooftop watching your favorite star shine brightly, and see that same star fade into nothing before your very eyes. And when this happens, we then watch the next beautiful star shine brighter than the first (or at least we hope to). Besides, they say that when a star dies, a new one is born (and no, I’m already past my 7 year-old fascination for astronomy).

But questions still crept up in between my coiled up little brain. What if one never finds his star? What if one finds himself alone until there is no more light left in him to shine? What if one was the cause as to why another star died? What if in all galaxies in the world, it was that one star that was meant for the other but the other just had to let it go? I say just go bang your head on the wall and put yourself in a sack (of course I am just kidding).

I say, “to each his own”. Stars are not all alike. Some are meant to be alone. Some come in constellations. Some come in pairs. Some come in threes. And no, I’m not talking about orgies or threesome. Perverts!! I’m talking about who, in the end, we find ourselves with.

Lumiliwanag ang buhayHabang tayo’y magkaakbay At dahan-dahang
dumudulasAng kamay ko sa makinis mong braso, hooh (3)

But in case you find yourself alone, don’t worry, you can always lead the Singles for Christ or embrace single blessedness in Opus Dei (and no, I’m not being sacrilegious, I’m dead serious). Point is, everyone has his/her purpose in life to fulfil. We don’t have the same destinies. Or if you find yourself alone, maybe you weren’t really looking. Train your eyes, they were meant to see those who are special (may they be your children, your parents, your nieces and nephews, your friends). Or maybe it’s not yet your time. Patience is, after all, a virtue. As to why it is important, is because it makes us pay attention.

Or maybe you’re just afraid. That’s just B@!#llsh&@t.

Sana noon pa man ay sinabi na sa iyo, hoh; Kahit hindi na uso ay ito lang ang alam ko (4)

Or maybe you’re just meant to be an old maid. Or maybe you don’t deserve to be happy (whoever thinks the latter needs to find better friends or maybe see a shrink).

Lahat ng pangarap ko’y bigla lang natunawSa panaginip na lang pala kita maisasayaw (5)

And in case you caused the death of one star, do not die with it. The important thing is to stay. Learn from each encounter. Wasting your light wouldn’t bring you back the star nor will it save you from persecution. The sweetest way to forgiveness is for you to make yourself shine brighter. So that when a new star comes, you would know what to do. Love is always a new thing. Whether you love once, twice or ten times in your lifetime you will always be faced by an unfamiliar situation but you can still be equipped with what maturity you’ve learned from those past loves.


And since February (the love month) is still a few more constellations away, I’d have to reserve the spread of love at a later time.

For now, I bid you all… listen to your heart.

CODA

La la la la, la la, la la, la la la [2x]

Why should I listen to my Heart?
Because you will never be able to silence it.
And if you pretend not to hear what it is telling you,
it will be beating inside your breast,
Repeating over and over what it thinks about life and the world.
- The Alchemist

- post-dedicated to little dipper who, I wish, finds big dipper .

note: some lines borrowed from Paulo Coelho and in case you can’t get a crap out of what I wrote, don’t worry, they have hidden meaning kasi

Translations
(1) And even if we didn’t became a couple, she’d always still be my first love
(2) Our hands intertwined, while not knowing that you’ve though my heart how to love truly
(3) Life gets brighter as while we are in each other’s embrace, slowly my hands slide off your smooth arms
(4) I wish I’ve said it before, and even if it’s out of fad, this is what I know
(5) All of my dreams suddenly faded, in the end I can only dance with you in my dreams