Bye bye love

Saying good bye for me is like smelling grass. You’d get that feel of going back home, of reminiscing the past. You get that confirmation that a season has come to an end, but at the same time, know that it’s never really final. The smell of green moist grass will turn to a dry crisp one, but you know that the dry grass will spring a new sheet again after dying. Some things come in full circle, though may present itself with a different mask. People come and go, but paths do still cross.

I've had my emotional share of good byes mostly with good friends. I’ve lost all of my high school friends to their plight for happiness, romance, or the generic search for a greener pasture. One married a Korean and migrated to k-pop land. Another got married and got too busy. The others went overseas for work. I've lost my college friends in almost the same scenario. My college crime buddies either went back home to the US, or migrated to Au. I’ve created new best buds along the way but bade them good bye as well, owing to differences, or maybe just plainly growing apart.

But I never dismissed the fact that our paths will still cross. Like no matter how many “Keep off the grass” signs are planted on the ground, you’re still bound to find yourself in the middle of park-sized patch, surprise surprise.

So yeah, I’m bidding blogging good bye for now. Bidding farewell to all the good and bad memories. From meeting new friends to office mates using my blogging as gossip material to ruin my name in the field. I’m keeping the good memories and forgetting the not so good ones.

And for all the real names that I've come to know, saved in my phone book, added in FB, partied, cheered, cried with or served with in an outreach, will remain part of my geographically challenged path.

I’ve been on AWOL on blogging already, might as well officiate it. I've been busy with work, transitioning from being a lost soul to a rebel ninja, sidelining as a wizard, shadowhunter and… whatever (sorry I lost my trail of thought haha).

So this is it. I bid online world good bye.

Because I’ll be eternally busy.

Getting on this new role.

Of a superhero.

So, bye bye love... for now.

Weirdness, changes and whatever updates

It has been so long I've actually forgotten my blogger password and even forgotten how to write (deleted a few lines and decided to just write as if I'm just chatting with you guys in a coffee shop, so pardon the lack of whatever-flow).

So I've been busy. What's new, right? I'm actually thankful there's whatsapp, wechat, viber and all those chat whatever platforms. I've missed out on all family meetings, reunions and birthdays this year, thus my cousins would just update me on whatsapp. I haven't seen any of my old friends either. 

So sms and chat are my only connection to the world even sometimes with my dad. He has gotten used to sms talk and I'm not sure if he uses facebook chat on his phone, but sometimes he gets a bit weird on his replies.

On his birthday, I've asked friends to send him a birthday greeting. 

His reply to most "happy birthday tito"? "Happy ako kung happy ka. Maraming salamat!"

Oo, mas werido sakin daddy ko. Wala akong binatbat.

The other day, I asked him if he could pick me up from the airport, this was his reply:

So what the F is "Ooyytyt?" Please enlighten me.

Anyway, for some weird reason, I'm not comfortable being called "poi" anymore. When I look in the mirror, I don't see the old poi. When I meet new friends, I don't introduce myself as Poi. If ever I've somehow changed, I hope it's for the better. I hope somehow I've matured and it's not just some new alter ego surfacing (may pagka multiple personality/ MPD lang?).

I feel like that whole book of "poi" has ended and I'm actually on a new chapter of my life (if in case you know why, just keep it a secret for now haha).

I'm cooking up a new blog and reserved a url, just in case I decide to blog again for fun. So don't be surprised if you find me on a new page.

I'm leaving poipagong and toiletots and all the memories. It became an avenue for me to meet real friends, who've become permanent fixtures in my offline life. Kaya, salamat,salamat sa lahat ng taon na kasama ko kayo (drama lang).

I might have one last post, but it wouldn't come out till September. Bakit September? Basta na.

You guys know how to contact me. chat chat nalang! :P

Christmas Sabak

I know I know, I've promised to write about the past few "sabak" with the BMIM-er kada (naks), but schedule has been really crazy. So, for now, I'm re-posting this from JH Alms' blog.

BMIM has been running around the metro for months with their endeavor to touch and inspire less fortunate kids running around in the streets. From their main activity of providing shirts sponsored by different bloggers, to additional acitivites such us story telling from our soon to be teacher friends, to feeding, giving out school supplies etc., BMIM has grown to be a continuous activity with blogger friends all helping out for the kids.

So, in this yuletide season, let's all support this Christmas sabak for the kids (details on the poster pic c/o abbie zoom zoom zip zip hehe).

 Sabi ko nga, sa mga nag rarant na malamig ang kanilang pasko, romance is so overated, it's not hte only one that makes Christmas meaningful, that's for Valentines. Kaya, let's all share our blessings and warm each other's (and the kid's) hearts by sharing our blessings.

go BMIM! cheers!

Para kay Master Mater

Andami kong natutunan sayo. 
Sa dami din ng gusto kong sabihin sayo, i-courier ko nalang, kindi kaya ng scan :D
Sabi mo nga, "There comes a point in your life when you realize who really matters, who never did, and who always will." 

Happy birthday bespren!

Ikaw padin ang nag-iisang mater ng buhay ko lol.

Thursday gimik: TUGTOGSILOG (JAM for a CAUSE)

(copied from madz)

Everyone is invited to be a part of this benefit concert for the Malaya Kids Ministries in Baseco Tondo. For a door fee of P100 PLUS any kind of canned goods, you can enjoy the night with alternative music from some of our local bands and also share your love with the kids this coming Christmas.

Share a bread for the soul.  Watch Tugtogsilog this coming Thursday, October 25, 2012 @ 8pm in Autonomy Bar and Resto Mandaluyong. 

See you there!

----------------------------------------------

My friends would always ask me, "is it sustainable?" I don't blame their skepticism, it is indeed more meaningful if your ‘help’ goes a long way and gives out a certain “permanence” rather than a short-lived comfort.

The people behind the Malaya Kids Ministries have been with the kids of Baseco for quite some time now, and like any other endeavor, it becomes sustainable because there are certain people who would support the cause.

I’ve seen the difference with how these kids interact with their elders. They had discipline taught by the volunteers. They sing praises to God and pray their thanks for each meal blessed to them. MKM has other projects lined up, like a library that is almost ready but needs to be filled with books and other materials for the kids amongst others.

But it’s not just the sustainability of a “structure” or a building. They have molded those kids’ characters to become good citizens as they grow old. Sustainable? Yes. But they would need your  help.

So yes, friends, tara! let’s SUPPORT AND PARTY!

Para sa nag-iisang Bioman

Para sa nag-iisang Bioman (aka reyna ng tondo)

bata man,
upang tanggapin ka man,
o mga bioman,
bida sa barilan,
bang, bang,
at sa eroplano ay sumakay.
ako'y kawal ni Jesus.
Yes sir! Yes sir!

Happy Birthday Mutya! :P



Have you ever #3

... screamed/ sang/ spoke in front of the electric fan just to hear your voice get all "chopped up" by the fan's blades. :)

---------------------------
Thank's to pabs (FB page) for sharing. Just waiting for my 5am flight. Akala ko hindi nako toxic maling mali pala lol.

Patalastas

Update lang po.

Halos naka autopost po ung mga entries ko ngayon sa blog. wala talgang oras.

Naka tatlo na pala akong BMIM wala pa ako naisusulat tungkol dito. haha pasensya na po. pramis meron nako post by next week.

Ung last na BMIM (ika-apat), gusto ko lang po pala ding magpasalamat sa mga nagdonate ng school supplies. Alam nyo na kung sino kayo. May mga sunod pang BMIM so ung mga gusto pang magbigay, wag kayo mahiya :P

Salamat din sa mga bumubuo ng BMIM, nakaka apat na kayong sabak. kudos sa inyong lahat. Sana maisama nyo pa ulit ako sa mga susunod na sabak.

Sa mga kaibigan ko, by second week of September, pwede nyo na po ako istorbohin, pasensya kng hindi ako nakakareply sa mga messages, comments, texts etc. Or kung maka reply soooobrang tagal. :P

o sha sha. TGIF!

Till next week!

Giving up

‘What happened to you?’ Clyde’s frown said without any word uttered, but since we’ve been best buds since high school, I kinda knew the word each crease on his forehead would tell.

‘ Life happened to me,’ my crooked smile was silently trying to tell him.

Letting out a deep sigh he moved a step closer and pulled me into an embrace.

“It’s ok to give up, y’know,” he finally said out loud.

I’ve never told him anything. I’ve never even kept him in the loop. I would only see him when I get to drop by his church or visit his son. I even forgot his place is a sure flood zone, storm or no storm, thus I wasn’t able to ask how he and his family were during the flood.

But he has seen me fight all my life. For survival. For food. For fare. For scholarships. For Student assistant posts. For domestic problems. And he saw me succeed one way or another in each of those fights.

But never have I foreseen that I will soon give up on a lot of stuff all at the same time.

I’ve given up on a project that has given me hell, handover starts September. I’ve given up on gym and will try other means to stay fit, thus my enrollment in muay thai. I’m giving up on social networks, I realized I’m not cut out for a showbiz lifestyle (lol). I'm giving up on no-rice-diet (that's just not possible with KFC's HnC) I’m giving up on trying to please people. I'm giving up on my dream to get taller (say no to bradford shoes lol).

I guess it’s not really about starting over. It’s more of merely going back to basics. To what is already there. Purging of the unnecessary. To see that what's left are just the important ones.

Except for Clyde, all of my highschool and colleges tropa have migrated elsewhere. I asked my dad, “can I go drinking with my muay thai classmates?” My dad in all his wisdom glanced at my tattoo clad classmates (no offfense meant to tattoo-ed people) and jokingly whispered, “ober my ded badi (Over my dead body). Bumili ka muna ng St. Peter’s plan.”

“Kung gusto ng kainuman, andito namn ako,” my dad quipped, not wanting to sound like an overprotective pops. I am after all too old for curfews.

He looked at me and smiled. ‘Everyone may have given up on you, but not me,’ his smile seemed to say.

“Tara, ice cream nalang tayo.” And pointed him to a nearby mini stop as we walk away towards my car and towards home.

As such that there are things worth fighting for, there are also things worth giving up.



------------------------------------------------------------------

Hal: You're so pathetic! No matter what side you're on, you're always the loser!

Megamind: There's a benefit to losing: You get to learn from your mistakes.

The Villain

And the villain said, “I’m tired of entertaining y’all super heroes. I’m done getting blamed for everything.”

“I’m going back to being a netizen, find your own punching bag.”

And the villain let out his signature evil laughter, “bwa ha ha ha ha.”

But this time, the villain meant every “ha.”

-----------------------------------------------

Titan: This town isn't big enough for two supervillains!
Megamind: Oh, you're a villain all right, just not a SUPER one!
Titan: Oh yeah? What's the difference?
Megamind: Presentation!

-----------------------------------------------

Megamind: I'm so tired of running rampant through the streets, without you there to stop me. What's the point of being bad when there's no good to try and stop you? I had so many evil plans in the works - the illiteracy beam, typhoon cheese, robo-sheep... Battles we will now never have. So it's good to have this time now... You know, before I destroy the whole place.
--------------------------------------------------

Hal: You're so pathetic! No matter what side you're on, you're always the loser!
Megamind: There's a benefit to losing: You get to learn from your mistakes.

OTS Stickies 06

Toilet Thought's One thought Sh*t stickies #6

MRT Sengkang Station, Singapore
(Oha! International na stickies!)

“Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.”
― Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky

Suggested good read:  My top 9 travel tips by Paulo Coelho

"9. A journey is an adventure"

__________________________________________________

Note: realized this is too similar to www.thingsweforget.blogspot.com, in case I'm violating any copyright something something, pls feel free to email me at toxic.mind@yahoo.com. In any case, do visit their web page, they;ve got really nice stickies that any of you might be able to relate to. I just wanted to do the same thing here with friends in Manila and other parts of the world - restrooms, malls, bus stations, random places. 

OTS Stickies 05

Toilet Thought's One Thought Sh*T stickies #4

Cork board, somewhere in the Philippines

Thank you Madz for the sticky note! Indeed, the longest journey begins with a single step. One step at a time  then you'll find yourself slowly reaching your goal, getting to your destination. One step at a time. :D

_________________________________

Note: realized this is too similar to www.thingsweforget.blogspot.com, in case I'm violating any copyright something something, pls feel free to email me at toxic.mind@yahoo.com. In any case, do visit their web page, they;ve got really nice stickies that any of you might be able to relate to. I just wanted to do the same thing here in Manila restrooms/ random places. The blogger is doing it in Singapore. *peace ya'll!*

A day in my life

Some of you have asked me what I do exactly. It's kinda hard to explain, but here's a quick clip of what transpires in my work. LOL

Note: I'm just glad my study doctors don't give me such a hard time. I'm more afraid of the study coordinators haha. But still work load during this month feels like (being submerged in) flood (when a dam gets opened). Thus... More stickies for next week! No more long write ups for this month :P

OTS stickies 04

Toilet Thought's One Thought Sh*T stickies #4

The Enterprise Center, random toilet/ comfort room,

Ayala, Makati City

Note: realized this is too similar to www.thingsweforget.blogspot.com, in case I'm violating any copyright something something, pls feel free to email me at toxic.mind@yahoo.com. In any case, do visit their web page, they;ve got really nice stickies that any of you might be able to relate to. I just wanted to do the same thing here in Manila restrooms/ random places. The blogger is doing it in Singapore. *peace ya'll!*

OTS Stickies 03

Toilet Thought's One Thought Sh*T stickies #03

Office Cubicle, somewhere in the world

Was feeling under the weather last week because of work, until someone shared this sticky note to me. Thank you! *Lightbulb!* Thus if any of you would want to share your own stickies, feel free to send it to me via email at toxic.mind@yahoo.com. Don't forget to mention the location of your sticky note.

_____________________________

Note: realized this is too similar to www.thingsweforget.blogspot.com, in case I'm violating any copyright something something, pls feel free to email me at toxic.mind@yahoo.com. In any case, do visit their web page, they;ve got really nice stickies that any of you might be able to relate to. I just wanted to do the same thing here in Manila restrooms/ random places. The blogger is doing it in Singapore. *peace ya'll!*

Let the Hugger Games Begin!

LOL. Just an addendum to the Hugger post. Can't remember if any of my friends have personal space/ touch issues.

OTS Stickies 02

Toilet Thought's One Thought Sh*T stickies #2

Cardinal Santos Medical Center

Random Corridor

 

Note: realized this is too similar to www.thingsweforget.blogspot.com, in case I'm violating any copyright something something, pls feel free to email me at toxic.mind@yahoo.com. In any case, do visit their web page, they;ve got really nice stickies that any of you might be able to relate to. I just wanted to do the same thing here in Manila restrooms/ random places. The blogger is doing it in Singapore. *peace ya'll!*

Talking it out

(image from here)

There's a certain balance achieved with a particular distribution of silence (listening), talking (discussing) and movement (touching). Like a certain distribution of numerics to each compound or molecule to balance out a chemical equation.



Like when a friend silently and patiently listens to your woes, then gives an encouragement, or a scolding, or even a neutral comment, then gives out a smile, a pat on the back, or a hug.

It is when you are able to vomit out your woes through a steady stream of words, that the flood of sadness ebbs down and suddenly you just feel lighter. It is when your sadness is shared with someoene and somehow transformed to something more bearable.

After all, a shared sorrow becomes half a sorrow; a shared happiness becomes doubled happiness.


To kups, thank you for listening.

OTS stickies 01

Toilet Thought's One Thought Sh*T stickies #1

 

Finally, the sun is up.

 

St. Paul's Hospital, SPICE building, Iloilo City 

(corridor/ toilet)

Note: realized this is too similar to www.thingsweforget.blogspot.com, in case I'm violating any copyright something something, pls feel free to email me at toxic.mind@yahoo.com. In any case, do visit their web page, they;ve got really nice stickies that any of you might be able to relate to. I just wanted to do the same thing here in Manila restrooms/ random places. The blogger is doing it in Singapore. *peace ya'll!*

Dark Side

Scribbling on my black book, writing a few lines, then a song played on the background matching what I was writing.

Then I stopped. And listened. Then...