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Thursday, August 30, 2012

Giving up

What happened to you?’ Clyde’s frown said without any word uttered, but since we’ve been best buds since high school, I kinda knew the word each crease on his forehead would tell.

Life happened to me,’ my crooked smile was silently trying to tell him.

Letting out a deep sigh he moved a step closer and pulled me into an embrace.

“It’s ok to give up, y’know,” he finally said out loud.

I’ve never told him anything. I’ve never even kept him in the loop. I would only see him when I get to drop by his church or visit his son. I even forgot his place is a sure flood zone, storm or no storm, thus I wasn’t able to ask how he and his family were during the flood.

But he has seen me fight all my life. For survival. For food. For fare. For scholarships. For Student assistant posts. For domestic problems. And he saw me succeed one way or another in each of those fights.

But never have I foreseen that I will soon give up on a lot of stuff all at the same time.

I’ve given up on a project that has given me hell, handover starts September. I’ve given up on gym and will try other means to stay fit, thus my enrollment in muay thai. I’m giving up on social networks, I realized I’m not cut out for a showbiz lifestyle (lol). I'm giving up on no-rice-diet (that's just not possible with KFC's HnC) I’m giving up on trying to please people. I'm giving up on my dream to get taller (say no to bradford shoes lol).

I guess it’s not really about starting over. It’s more of merely going back to basics. To what is already there. Purging of the unnecessary. To see that what's left are just the important ones.

Except for Clyde, all of my highschool and colleges tropa have migrated elsewhere. I asked my dad, “can I go drinking with my muay thai classmates?” My dad in all his wisdom glanced at my tattoo clad classmates (no offfense meant to tattoo-ed people) and jokingly whispered, “ober my ded badi (Over my dead body). Bumili ka muna ng St. Peter’s plan.”

“Kung gusto ng kainuman, andito namn ako,” my dad quipped, not wanting to sound like an overprotective pops. I am after all too old for curfews.

He looked at me and smiled. ‘Everyone may have given up on you, but not me,’ his smile seemed to say.

“Tara, ice cream nalang tayo.” And pointed him to a nearby mini stop as we walk away towards my car and towards home.

As such that there are things worth fighting for, there are also things worth giving up.


Hal: You're so pathetic! No matter what side you're on, you're always the loser!

Megamind: There's a benefit to losing: You get to learn from your mistakes.

5 mga umutot:

Anonymous said...

‘Everyone may have given up on you, but not me...'

you know i'll disagree.


jonathan said...

Love this post, very endearing!

Poipagong (toiletots) said...

@anon: lol

@phi jon: emo na nga endearing padin? lol misha! travel tayo india! :P

Kane said...

I was a young man when I first came across the idea of choosing which battles to fight.

Our resources: time, money, energy, youth ... these are all finite. We must be wise enough to know how best to use them.

Natuwa ako sa sinulat mo. It has been awhile.


Poipagong (toiletots) said...

Kane! :P ikaw kaya busyng busy din :P thanks for droppin by.


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