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Friday, November 18, 2011

Canis Canem Edit

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A topic on the radio got my attention some months back. Chico and Del on RX were talking about bullies and related 'em to dogs (Chico being a known pet lover and all).

They once heard of a woman who consulted a pet trainer about her new dog that's frequently being barked at and attacked by two other older dogs. She wanted to know how to solve her problem with those bullying dogs. The pet trainer told her that the problem lies NOT with the bullies but with the one being bullied.

The new dog needed to assert itself in the pack for it to "belong" or be accepted. The dog was clearly weak, and weakness had no place in the pack. Expect to be attacked if you show signs of weakness. The dog clearly lacked the instinct to survive. And the other dogs were just acting on instinct.

I've noticed that it's the same thing with the world we live in. It's a dog eats dog culture. Only the fit will survive.

In the human world, it’s been clearly identified and established that bullies are THE problems. We've tried solving them one way or another. But looking at it from a different perspective, shouldn’t we also be equipping the weak with the right defenses?

Schools are of a special case, I guess. We try to protect the young ones from being attacked and hope that somewhere along the way, they develop a backbone and start to at least give out a confident stance and cease becoming a magnet for trouble.

However, the corporate world presents a different environment altogether. If you find dissatisfaction at the bottom, you'll find yourself fighting for your place on top. In each of us, there's a hungry politician waiting for the right time to lunge for power. It doesn't have to mean that all would have to play dirty, but fact still remains that all needed to play.

I've looked into Facebook and wondered what happened to the "weak" during high school. The lives of most of them took a turn for the better and are already in better, if not the best, careers; with a new "do" and a new beau. However, there are still some who are still asking to be talked about and, well… ridiculed. I was itching the other day to send a message to one high school classmate and tell him “dude, not those kind of profile pictures, please! That's social suicide.” But of course we were not really close. I don't want to be a villain in all this, as that would be too superficial of me.

I ask myself, have I somehow been a bully to some of those who came and went in my life? Perhaps… I'm thinking that despite my uber friendly personality and unicorn-rainbow filled outlook in life, I'd say yes. Yes, I may have caused someone pain one way or another.

Let me get things straight - I detest bullying, but I wouldn't want to pamper and overprotect. Life sometimes teaches in the harshest way. People need to fall and scrape their knees sometimes to be able to learn how to get up and heal. Some lessons are not learned by taking a cue from other people’s experience.

My little brother got bullied during his first year in high school. Same with his older brother, he came from a public school, then transferred to a private nun-ran school. They probably stood out like a sore thumb, they lacked the confidence to stand ground and fight back.

Jay got picked on by the bigger guys, hit and even peed on. But good thing he had Jethro to back him up. Together they were stronger.

One time Jay got picked on two blocks from our house. A kid ran to the house and called on Jethro, who rushed with fists raring to connect with the bullies’ face. They got a heck of a scolding when they got back home, but I was sure, my dad was proud. I sure was. They were finally learning to fight back.

In time, the two of them learned to walk with a swag, got into music and became basketball varsity players. Soon girls swarmed at our our gate. Two or three girls would go to fetch my brothers for whatever practice they needed to do.

What have I learned with this experience? There’s strength in numbers. Having someone to back you up makes the difference. You may not fight the same battle, but you get to draw strength from another.

Dogs come in a pack for a reason.

As no man is an island.

We all need someone.

We all are needed by someone.

Thus, if you think you are needed, be there for that person.

For we all fight our battles. But battles don't have to be fought alone.

Lest you wanted to be eaten by dogs.

It's a dog eat dog kinda world after all.

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