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Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Dating down

I’ve heard the term before and encountered it again while watching United States of Tara when Tara’s sister just got a boob job and started dating again.

Dating down is when you date someone “below” standard of the last date. Like if you dated a hot chick or a hunky dude, you shouldn’t settle for less than that on your next prospect.

I remember one “hobby” I had with my best bud. While passing time, we’d rate people passing by, 1-10, 10 being highest. Below 5 would be charity case already. Don’t get me wrong, we’re not exactly superficial or anything, we just know how to appreciate beauty. Though I had to hand it down to my best bud, he wouldn’t date anyone below 7, “I’ve got standards,” he says.

Though at times, I find myself curiously looking at “weirdly” paired couples.

I’ve got college blockmates and cousins who dated “cream of the crop” faces (a term my best bud coined), some of whom have even became models. But reunions would obviously tell me that they ended up, even married uhhmmm… well, to so so faces.

I’d usually be puzzled while looking at 4’s walking with 8’s and we’d rationalize ‘em thinking that they just know how to court so well, or maybe are freakingly filthy rich. After all, it wouldn’t hurt to snag a trophy date. And if it’s true love, what argument do you have with that? Nada! You don’t mess with effin true love. It’s like stealing some metro’s claydoh from his drawer. Disastrous.

And of course, dating down isn’t all about faces. You’d consider wallet capabilities, tear duct storm frequencies, brain damaging conversations, orgasmic silences, and well, sexual geyser prowess.

I remember though, one psych doctor friend from bataan who married a driver. Their love story was just filled with much family drama. Everyone opposed to the union. She held an MD degree with specializations, he held a trishaw with flags. Still, they weathered difficulties and insecurities that came their way. They say love isn’t enough to live, but for them it was.

My guess is, parents are the ultimate author of dating down rules. They wouldn’t want anyone less for their babies, would they? And most of us imbibed that rule and made it a goal whenever we switch to whore mode – that, and the pressure to introduce someone who could make your friends jaw drop envious, not to mention your ex.

As for me, I’d admit I’m fairly superficial. At least you’d want someone presentable. But my top on standards would be intellect. I’m not exactly Jimmy Neutron, just some smart ass Dennis the menace. But still, I wouldn’t want to date down on intelligence. I’d want to grow much on that aspect, and you wouldn’t get that from a hollow barbie doll. Intelligence for me is sexy. Mind fucking is simply orgasmic. Just don’t let ‘em talk about genetic mutations and pathogenesis of STDs during the act, and you’ll be ok. I guess that's why I have so many blogosphere crushes, I get so turned on with good writing. But that's another story.

I guess at start, the idea of dating is that you wouldn’t want to settle for someone less than yourself. And from there you build up a standard for the next. And for those who haven’t gotten over an ex, comparison is the usual culprit.

But at the end of the day, your heart still would end up with whomever it wants, even if it means breaking some standards.

And as for Tara’s sister, I have just finished season one, but I bet she’d end up with the fat ugly one on the next season.

Because in reality…

Love is not blind, it sees, but it doesn’t mind.

picture source here: http://www.clipartguide.com/_named_clipart_images/0511-0908-1916-5428_Computer_Dating_clipart_image.jpg

11 mga umutot:

wanderingcommuter said...

love is not blind. it actually sees more, not less. but because it sees more, it is willing to see less.

dabo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
dabo said...

when people charged love being blind, they don't mean it was too loud, too salty or too cold. what one sense faltered on it's intended purpose, other senses compensate for it.

hArTLeSsChiq said...

"But at the end of the day, your heart still would end up with whomever it wants, even if it means breaking some standards" - AGREE!

Toilet Thoughts said...

@Ewik: kaya nga kita love friend eh. kasi I see more. see? hahaha!

@kuya dabo: *nosebleed* hmmm sense of taste... maalat? matamis? sabi na kasi. wag kumain ng pampapait.

@H<=chic: haha. ikaw ano ba standards mo?

Carabrant said...

Ay. Hahaha! Natawa ako dun sa "weirdly-paired couples"! Parang may naalala akong hindi daw bagay sabi ni best bud mo!

Ssshhh!! Thou shall not comment on that statement. Hahaha!!

Moving forward...

I remember you asking me what my standards are. And I said, I have none. Actually, I have now come to a realization that I do have standards; I just cannot specifically define and quantify them--something that is true for someone who doesn't think at all and is just relying on what he feels overall.

Ang kumplikado kasi ng love and relationship. Kapagod gumamit ng brain! Haha!

red the mod said...

But compatibility is more than an numerical assignation, it is the holistic value one chooses to bestow on another. On my part, the balance tips more towards the intangible, the non-deterministic, the non-imperical values. Traits that trump the linear progression of a rating system. I find this more seductive, unequivocally, engaging that the physiological. Chemistry is never a matter of balance, but of substance.

Toilet Thoughts said...

@pads: haha onga pala. at ang "weirdly paired" couple ay going strong padin. Sana maghiwalay na sila. haha. ang harsh lang natin.

@Red: uhhhmmm, I take it back, magpapaka superficial nalang tlga ako. hindi ako dedate ng below 7. nosebleed kasi ako sa sinabi mo. haha!

Carabrant said...

Bakit mo ako dinadamay? Hahaha! Kayo lang ang harsh no! Never ko namang kinontra ang couple na yun. :P

Toilet Thoughts said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
david.edward said...

naka naman sa post! ahahha.. pero true.. physical appearance is just there to attract, mas tatagal ang relasyon kung my laman ang utak :p

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