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Friday, September 11, 2009

There must be something wrong

Maybe it’s the weather… yeah, I’m blaming it on the bad weather.

Talo ko pa nag andropause. I’ve been having these unpredictable mood swings lately, though mostly gearing towards unreasonable sadness. These I guess are my (now usual) bouts of depression that comes every now and then (back and forth, tumbling, cartwheel, summersault) just like our balikbayan typhoons.

But there’s something weird about these emo-ness that is clearly affecting my daily life. Or maybe I’m attracting too many negative vibes (din a ako magsasasama sa mga emo gods) lately that these series of unfortunate events have happened lately.

Just this afternoon, I spent almost 15 minutes looking for my car keys, only to realise I’ve left it snugly inserted in the trunk’s keyhole. Take note, nahalughog ko lahat ng sulok ng bahay, lahat ng pwedeng mapagpatungan.

The other night, I was an image of a crazy bastard jumping up and down in front of our gate. After all these years, I forgot what our gate’s lock combination is. And even if my poor recall for numbers has failed me numerous times, my photo memory on how each button is either left up or pressed down, has never… not until that nerve wrecking day. Imagine, I couldn’t get in my own house just because I forgot my lock’s combination. Thirty minutes. I was already close to tears. Pathetic.

Then on my way to the Bureau of Quarantine I noticed that I’m hearing the clink of small pebbles loudly below my car. Then to Makati, suddenly I heard a loud thud below. It seemed that I ran over some piece of road garbage, realising after a few meters away that that road garbage is my Mud Guard dropping below me. Thus like some stupid MTV, I ran under the rain just to retrieve my (not a lost love, but a mere grease laden) mud guard.

And just a few minutes from writing this random post, I just had to shed a tear or two letting out all these melancholy, trying to shoo them away. What’s more frustrating is that I can’t pinpoint exactly what’s bothering me.

Thus, because of all these circus events, I’ve strongly made a decision to really agree on a friend’s invite to go up north on a road trip. Good luck nalang sa puyat.

Hay, cheer up man, cheer up. Pag di ka tumino, madedelay nanaman mga reports mo, me meeting ka pa next week. (ayan kinakausap ko na sarili ko).

7 mga umutot:

Mina said...

sign of stress: SELF-TALK!!!!

welcome to the club!!!

wanderingcommuter said...

hoping the seashore and the windmills can calm you down..

lucas said...

tough day, man. sinabayan pa ng emo-ing powers of the gloomy weather.

makakalimutin na din ako and psychologists say there's a problem kapag ganun. nakalimutan ko na kung ano yung tawag (see???!!)

anyway it's just a bad day. but i think it's just a matter of mind set. :)

The Green Man said...

I know what you need. :-D all you need to do is say yes.

Please, please, please.

jonathan said...

It happens to everyone. Stress is one factor, lack of sleep is another, and too much thinking about tomorrow can be one. Breathe, breathe, breathe and tell yourself, " I'm lucky I have a car, a house to live, and friends to support me through my needs."

Toilet Thoughts said...

@Mina: onga. sabi ni jepoy tama ka.

@ewik: asan ang windmills? asan ang shores?? ASAN?????

@lucas: sabi nga nila... pain only lasts for a few minutes, anything beyond that is self inflicted na. hehe.

@Phi Jon: yeah... thanks for letting me see that important point. unga pala. I fail to see those good things in my life... life is still beautiful... yeba!

Toilet Thoughts said...
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