Brat pala si daddy

Libing ng lolo ko nung Tuesday. Pero saka ko na ikukwento ung tungkol sa libing. Ikukwento ko si daddy ko nung libing. As usual, may topak nanaman sya.

Sa magkakapatid, sya ung sweet, sya ung utusan, sya ung laging andyan, sya ung tahimik, sya ung emo, sya ung madrama, sya ung feeling bunso pero nagmamatanda minsan.

Sa lahat ng may kapatid, may nagmamatandang lalake, at may nagmamatandang babae. Sila ung nauunang pumuna, magpagalit, mag organize, at magpameeting.


Nung maghahagis na ng bulaklak sa binabababang kabaong, bawal daw ang bakal kasi kakalawangin.


Nakakuha si daddy ng orchid na may alambre. Ihahagis na sana nya ito sa kabaong nung pinagsabihan sya ng ate nya, “wag mong itapon yan, may metal,” pasungit na sabi ni tita.


At ang tatay ko, sa lahat ng pagkakataong maisipang magpaka defiant, ngayong okasyon pa. Tiningnan ang tita ko, binaling ang titig sa orchid na hawak, sabay tapon sa kabaong.

”Pagka kulet! Sabi nang wag itapon eh,” wika ni tita. Si daddy? Walkout lang.


Pumunta sa ibang kapatid para magsumbong.

Ayan may kampihan nanamang nagaganap. Dahil lang sa isang wire ng orchid na pwede namn sana nyang tanggalin bago ito itapon.


Ngayon alam ko na kung saan ako nagmana ng pagka brat.

Hahaha!

Kupido

Pahamak yang si kupido

di man asintado

tinamaan nga ako,

pero haging lamang sayo...

- Hanggang Tingin by Kamikazee

Instincts

I've been making a list of the things they don't teach you at school. They don't teach you how to love somebody. They don't teach you how to be famous. They don't teach you how to be rich or how to be poor. They don't teach you how to walk away from someone you don't love any longer. They don't teach you how to know what's going on in someone else's mind. They don't teach you what to say to someone who's dying. They don't teach you anything worth knowing.

- Neil Gaiman (The Kindly Ones)

I wish I'd always have the right words to say.
I wish I'd always make a friend smile
I wish I'd always be able to soothe someone in pain
I wish I'd always be at the right place and at the right time to help

But in the absence of words, I use my arms,
stretch them as far as possible and crush the one grieving till they grieve no more

In the absence of a smile on someone's face,
I just cry along, in case he cannot cry anymore

In the absence of emotional painkillers,
I sit and hear each heartbeat, sharing the pain, wishing I could somehow take some of it

In my own absence, when I find a friend in need,
I send angels, hoping they do what I cannot.

Smile. Cry.
Then smile some more.

Janus

Each of us has a past and a present

a good side and a bad side

Love teaches us to embrace both (all).

good and bad.

 

past and present.

Happy Birthday Dad!

I'll be away next week for a series of meetings so I'm reposting this just to greet my dad a Happy Birthday on the 10th. Happy birthday dad!


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5 Things I learned From My Dad

1. A smile costs nothing but gives much. When I was young, my dad was the effigy of smile-dom, kinda in between clowning around and flirting about. Every time we’d drive from Manila to Batangas, he makes it a point to at least give a ten second chat with the toll fee lady. He’d usually smile and give out a short but effective compliment (“ganda mo naman, ngiti ka naman dyan,” he’d sometime say). It never fails even a stern looking lady would in the end give out a shy happy smile. (But at times, my dad's killer smile would give himself women problems hehe).

2. Sex is good but that’s not all there is in a relationship. I remember too well how we had our first talk about the birds and the bees. Often when I was young, my dad would stay out late at night on business deals while I am left alone in the house. It was in 4th grade when I first discovered how to put my hands into good use from a classmate. One time, I fell asleep in my naked glory with some evidence of the crime committed. He arrived and saw the scene, which started “the talk.” I won’t elaborate more as ya’ll know already about that. I learned much not just from that talk, but from all of my dad’s experiences, his failed relationships, to those that stayed, and those that he wished never happened.


3. It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice. My dad never competed with any of his siblings for the limelight. You'd probably find him just behind the scenes. He never wanted to be the center of attention, getting satisfaction while silently helping. He never expected anything in return even in times of need. Thus, whatever good deed he made, I was the recipient of the return... good Karma to the fruit of the tree. What the father sowed, the son reaped. Importance comes with mere awe and reverence. Being nice comes with all the blessings.

4. One must learn how to use things and love people, and not how to love things and use people. My dad used to buy all things beautiful when he was still a young businessman. I had Nintendo when it first came out, the first Pacman game, roller blades at its hype, matchbox toys, an airbed... the works, though surprisingly, I was never a brat (except only when he tags me along his dates). Then business went down. From a proud businessman he worked oddjobs just to keep me in private school up until I made my way to a Science highschool then again to UP. That's when he told me that nothing's permanent. All things come and go, specially riches... all things worldly. But people whom you loved dearly, and loves you back, would always be there by your side. Richness or rags. Through those times, he was never alone (though his pride would usually make him feel like one). He then got closer to his family and to God (the one who never really left). He learned that all things are replaceable (same line he uses whenever I break my lolo's china, yeah right dad, try replacing 'em atiques hehe), but those that God strategically placed in your life will be there to do God's purpose. To let you see the more important things in life.

And Lastly... I learned that...

5. My dad loves me soooo much. Tested through time. All through my childhood he was all together a father, a mother, a yaya and a driver. The cook, the laudry man, the iron man, but of course the dishes were mine. A friend, at times a foe, a basketball buddy (though I think I never really learned the sport), my roller blade/ ice skate watcher. My comic relief, my dramatic actor, my entertainer, my singer, my dancer. My carpinter, my plumber, my architech, my teacher.

When I got into trouble, he was my defender. When he learned I joined a fraternity, he was my silent advisor, but never a nagger. He respected my decisions, and had let me make my mistakes, though you'd see him eternally worried.


And with all these roles he religiously portrayed... I simply call him... DAD.




They say you can never choose your parent, but if given a chance, I'd still decide to choose him in a heart beat.




To you my dad, Happy Birthday!

Happy new ear!

A friend asked me what my new year’s resolution is, since it seems like everyone has them.

It took me a (long) while to realise that I really had none. Each day I have a goal to achieve, so I guess more than a year’s resolution, I have a bunch of new day’s resolution.

Then I remembered last new year’s sermon. Then I got it - my new year’s resolution.

I vow to have a happy new ear!

And it’s no typo error. I really had to drop the “Y.”

At times we need to drop some things to get new ones.

This year I vow to get new thoughts, new things to think about, and new ways to think.

Renewal of self starts from the renewal of the mind, after all.

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing
of your mind… Rom 12:2

And since thoughts start to burn from within, though actually gets ignited from outside, I would need to watch vigilantly what things I let inside.

I’ve realised that my growth, be it intellectual, physical, and spiritual, comes from what I see, hear and feel. For me the biggest challenge is filtering what I hear. Voices do come convincingly in all treble and notes.

Do not pay attention to every word people say… Ecc 7:21

Most people guard their hearts from hurt, others guard their wallets from theft, and since my heart is already taken and my wallet really has nothing in it, the only thing I’d have to guard is what I hear. Influence starts from what one hears. Politicians make use of this feat fully.

And as such that I choose who I listen to, I’d have to choose what I let others hear from me too.

And as I need all the inspiration I need next year for work and all that life decides to throw my way, I try to be wary with pessimists. We need them to give us a reality check, but we do not need them to put all our hopes down. They can be such energy vampires.

I’m starting the new year with a positive attitude and thus try to listen to the tiniest needle drop of positivity even in the most negative of situations.

…whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure,
whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or
praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8

Thus, when people say, “lend me your ears,” make sure you lend them to those who speak of good things.

Happy new EAR everyone!

Define "merry" ang pasko

Kanina pako umiiyak. At hindi namn talaga ako iyakin.

Bakit ako umiiyak? dahil sa trabaho. Sa limang taon ko sa medical research, alam ng lahat na kulang nalang sa opisina ako tumira. Though minsan talaga nag home based ako at para lang akong helpdesk na naka 24/7 online lalo na pag may telecons ng madaling araw kasama ang foreign counterparts.

Sa ilang taon ko sa industriyang ito, ngayon lang ako napaiyak ng ganito. Ayaw ko kasi na may masasabi sa trabaho ko. Ayaw kong mapupulaan. Kahit may mga pagkakataong tinatamad talaga ako at petiks lang, babawi naman ako ng todo todo sa kalaunan. Pero gaya ng pagkakataon ngayon, may pasyente na kelngan ko ialis sa study. Wala naman ako magawa kasi un ung sabio ng kano kong mga boss. Syempre nagalit si doc. Naintindihan ko naman pero ang kinaiyak ko lang talaga nung sabihing hindi daw ako makontak at parang napa inutil ko namang mag manage ng study. Syempre hindi nman nya un sinabi verbatim, pero un lang naipahiwatig nya.

Naiyak ako dahil wala akong kalaban laban o kontrol naman sa sitwasyon. Ayaw ko ng ganong feeling.

Ay basta, ang dami kong naka line up na post at hindi ko talaga gustong gawing online journal tong blog ko. Kung mapapansin nyo, konti lang about personal life maliban sa family ko ang laman ng blog na to. Pero hindi ko mapigilan. Siguro maliban sa mga random thoughts ko, mas makakakita kayo ng mga personal updates nadin sa buhay ko next year.

Ano mababago sa susunod na taon? Madami.

Syempre dadating na si Mik, mukhang madaming parties nanamn na gagawin, at mukhang mas magtatantrums ako ng mas madalas, sana lang may kabinet sa kung saan ako abutan ng tantrums ko. Kung hindi nyo alam ang storya ng kabinet, maswerte kayo. haha.

Yun lang. Ang saya ng pasko na ito. Wala pa din akong nabibiling regalo sa kahit kanino. Pero sa mga kaibigan ko, alam nyo naman na sobrang mahal ko kayo. Pwede namn ako magbigay ng regalo kahit hindi pasko. Actually mas madalas ko namang iparamdam na spesyal kayo pag walang okasyon (me ganon? drama lang amf! haha).

O sya, o sya. Maligayang pasko ulit.

Shitfull Holidays ya'h farts!

Toilet's been clogged these days. But before I forget to greet ya'll...

Merry Christmas and a Happy new year!

(brainless post I know haha)

(image here)