Project July: teaser #1

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I haven't made any official announcement yet, but the outpour of blessings has been quite overwhelming already. Thanks sansu and kups for the donations. :D

Super thanks... :)

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This is for project july. I'll give out more details in the coming posts. Stay tuned!

keep 'em donations coming friends!

Thank you (huli man daw at mabait, nakakathank you padin)

I welcomed the air coming out of the tube that was placed just right at the entrance of my nostrils. Just general anesthesia, I was told. I inhaled it like my sanity depended on it.

I hate pain. Despite claiming that I had high tolerance for pain after enduring fraternity rites, I’d still crumble in panic when pain is caused by slicing or anything that involves “going inside.”

A shot of another anesthesia (Demerol I think) through the butterfly cath port was supposed to make me asleep. They were ready to pierce through the spinal with a very large needle for another anesthesia when I said in panic, “I’m still awake!” Through the second shot of Demerol, I was still annoyingly humming. The third shot knocked me dead.

Five hours after, I woke up still feeling kinda woozy and unable to move the lower part of my body.

The procedure was really an easy one, my illness an embarrassing one. As such that I was not used to feeling so helpless and weak, I decided not to announce my current state – just enough to let the important people know that I cannot be at their disposal during that time. I’m supposed to be invincible, unbreakable, but I guess my mortal body just had enough of my pretense.

I’ve always loved being in the lime light. I’ve once complained that I didn’t get the right attention I wanted during my last birthday. But being sick is a different matter. I didn’t want visitors. None from my (extended) family knew that I was in the hospital. My dad alone was privy to my confinement. I insisted on him not telling anyone, but later on I was told that he texted one of my two uncle priests for prayers. My dad chose the one who was in conflict with all of the siblings. It was funny how my dad rationalized to tell the one who was not in speaking terms with everyone just to keep to my instructions. Dads. Secrets are safe with them.

And as such that I’m a crazy kid, I have even crazier friends. It was one of those times I wished they would not feel sweet and investigate where I am. I hadn’t had a decent bath, nor a clean shave, I was simply at my ugliest.

But the fates are quite humorous.

We are each the love of someone else’s life. 

Max Tivoli, Andrew Sean Greer.

To be blind of the care that people subtly display has been a trait I’ve mustered just to satisfy my eternal need (and flair lol) for the dramatic.

And as such that I once blogged that I felt not loved during my last birthday, it is but fair that I express my gratitude for drowning in it while I was sick.

The night of my still being paralyzed from the anesthesia, my bros erik and kuya dave came with a funny looking balloon. Two burly guys with a funny balloon – that cracked me up like crazy.

Next day, bset visited from his Boracay trip and we were snickering while carlo was there, sharing a secret. I didn’t want to tell him that I was hospitalized, ruining his beach trip, but he suspiciously asked before coming back home, as if one talkative little bird told him I was in a hospital.

Dam visited in the wee hours of the morn, luckily before my lactulose episodes. Church mates and officemates came during the night (we had to discuss back-ups for work left). D came and went like a hurricane leaving fruits (which at the time were the only ones I was willing and allowed to eat). Dak dropped by embarrassing me more by explaining my illness to Y (haha love yah dak!). Y, on the other hand, endured being the bantay of the most difficult patient there is.

And my last surprise came the next day when I got released from the hospital. Erik kept on stalling me from leaving the hospital early, saying he still has something for me.

Upon meeting Erik, he handed me a package boxed with a courier logo: an overseas package from kups. When I opened it, I saw a tin can filled with packs of my favorite freshly baked dark chocolate with pecan cookie from Famous Amos (my ultimate comfort food). And you don’t get that kind of package from elsewhere, just in Singapore or possibly Malaysia. It felt like Christmas and Kups was my Santa.

I asked Erik how much the customs charged to clear the package, but he just won’t tell. He simply implied that it’s possibly one of the most expensive cookies he has ever seen. Haha.

So there. This post is just to thank everyone who shared their time and effort when I needed it most.

We are each indeed the love of someone else, if not of so many. One just needs to look and see. We really do not need to seek happiness from elsewhere (or seek love from a hopeless place). We simply just need to look inside our homes and within our friends to know that we are indeed loved.

Know this, and maybe you’ll find the happiness that you seek. And maybe even contentment.

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P.S. My birthday’s coming near, I don’t need gifts, but I do need you to collect some school supplies for donation. More details to come in the next few posts. Stay tuned! I may need your help once more in this new project. Zaijian! Till next ish! :)

The birthday graph

Picture from here.

Everyone expected this month to be my most memorable birthday.

My mistake? I expected the same.

It wasn’t even a roller coaster ride. It was rather a boring graph-y one.

This particular graph went up to a slope, reaching a point where it stopped to rise and formed a plateau. But like most things stable, the plateau crashed to nothingness.

After weeks of being on the sideline, or rather being behind my li’l bro’s shadow, I hoped that this birthday will finally be, well, about me. It’s that one day of the year, after all, that you’d want to feel special, particularly to those you value most.

Here comes the rise on the graph.

No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t stop myself from imagining how “memorable” my birthday would be.


I overheard them ordering food. They requested for the Poon (a holy relic) to be at the house for a day, which got me excited, to think that I am not even Catholic. Lola was supposed to have invited a few people.

I imagined how many of my friends would greet me.

It promised to be fun. I was to spend my birthday with my mom and brother. Twenty years should be enough waiting to at least make it all the more special.

The expectations were just too great to ignore.

But I was wrong.

Now comes the plateau.

My spirits went on auto mode when we started the day with my mom’s rich high school classmates. They just had to schedule their reunion on my birthday. To this day, I wonder if they even knew it was my birthday? I was practically invisible.

Like any other social gathering, my mom went on bragging about my bro’s accomplishments - how he declined Harvard so that he won’t have to be far from where mom is, how he got this 4 year pre-med scholarship over at VCU, and the list goes on.... Of course, I raise a white flag at a Harvard scholarship I can’t compete with that. And don’t get me wrong. I do love my bro.


So I spent my morning semi-socializing with my mom’s classmates. They’d speak to me in English, thinking I am not able to understand Tagalog. I didn’t have the energy to even correct them since they were mostly just one-sentence conversations. Mostly just to hand over their camera for me to take pictures. I ended up with 5 cameras slung on either arm the WHOLE morning.


Afternoon came and I only got a handful of greetings from friends. And I wouldn’t count those from Facebook. Most of them were acquaintances who just did not have my mobile number.


Evening came and my hopes took a nose dive when I was told that my bro’s relatives are the only ones coming to the house (for my supposed birthday dinner).


So here comes the steep slope graph going down.


Don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against my bro’s relatives. They’ve been really welcoming and treated me as a guest when I tagged along with my ma and my bro on weekend visits.


But there lies the dilemma. I was only a guest and they weren’t really family. So mostly I was left alone on some corner during weekends.


Thus during dinner, I spared myself from hearing how they’d gush over my bro’s American accent. I ate at the dirty kitchen with my lola and her hired cook. Went to the sala to at least be courteous to the guests, but five minutes after being ignored, I went up my room to sulk.

My phone was silent. My inbox almost empty except for greets from people I rarely see. Of course I wouldn’t hold it against my friends if they forgot. I myself am not good with dates unless I get to check my planner. (I even forgot a friend's birthday despite my mental note a couple of days back – and yes, I’m trying to make excuses, too. But still, all that silence did not help my plummeting mood.

Then it occurred to me. Despite the lack of spotlight, and my failed need to feel special on my birthday, I forgot one person whom I felt the most sincere in greeting me a happy birthday – my lola. It was her idea to have the Poon over at the house, and it was her efforts to have all the food ready for dinner. And she was the only one with a gift despite the obvious place where she bought it, at a bargain shop near the palengke (market). I really am not in it for the gift, but I was hoping for some bit of effort, and she was the only one who exerted it.


So despite the self-pity and pathetic tears, I had to take a mental note to properly thank her.

She was that lone dot in my graph that was off-correlation. She somehow spiked up my graph even at the end.

So there, end of graph.

End of July.

Oh well…

I’m posting this to close this chapter, this month.


Then move on.


Who knows, next year could be different - new circumstances, new environment, and possibly a new place to live in, a FAR away place.


So here’s to my 28th.

And another step to hope for maturity.

Quickie

Happy birthday to Ewik, Moi, Kane and belated happy birthday to Red.

ROCK ON!


image from here.

Meeting Mom: Intermission

All: Piktyur! Piktyur!

(Photographer points cam)

Me: *POUTS*

Mom: sternly shouts, "DON'T DO THAT!"

Me: *disappointed smile*

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My mom doesn't like my pout. How hurtful is that?! haha!

In anycase, I'm still in the process of writing my update on meeting mom. My thoughts are still quite a mess and my first few days, I got a bit emotional, so that's why I still cannot give out updates.

Aryt, down to business: My birthday is coming up and a friend commented how hard it is to find me a gift and requested I give out a wishlist. So here are some tips in giving me gifts (ANG KAPAL KAPAL KO LANG NO?)

1. Mababaw lang ako. I appreciate practially anything given to me.
2. I like impractical stuff. The weirder the better. Hard to find things would be great.
3. But kung ayaw mo mag isip ng regalo, here is my list:

a. cool wallet
b. tazmanian devil car accessory: steering wheel cover etc.
c. gimik small backpack (hindi ung pang Dora the explorer)
d. hamburger mini speakers (blue chrome finish, or black or red matted finish)
e. boy's cap (basta ang hirap explain)
f. pacute pokpok shirt. basta din.
g. basta be creative.

Ayan. Pag nahirapan pa kayo ewan ko nalang. hahahaha!

Sa mga may birthday sa July dyan, wala ba kayong wishlist? nahihirapan ako magisip eh (calling on geek, ewik, odin, jepoy, etc. sino pa ba?)

Peaceful 25th Birthday

I woke up with a jolt as my brothers tried to rouse me up.

6am. As I looked up to my wall clock directly in view of my bed. To my right were my brothers sitting with irritating smirks on their faces.

“Happy Birthday Kuya!!!!”, shouted my brothers in sonorous (me blending effect pa) chorus. And if you’re like erik who’ve experienced my mobile phone diverting to my house phone, you’ll probably describe my brother’s voice as irritating shrieks. "Heyooooo!!! Waya ti tuya ehhhh!!" (Kidding).

Then suddenly they were shoving something to my face.

One of those crude cards that I’ve so been wanting from friends, but never really expected to get from my two brothers.

And as they were getting ready to go to school, I again heeded somnus’ call to lala land.

And as I woke up to several text messages, I proceeded to my usual routine. Opened my laptop, checked my planner for things to dos, scratched my belly, yawned loudly, and smelled my breath like there’s nothing more fragrant than morning breath. Eeewww.

A text message from my dad told me I have cake on the ref, which I immediately took out and ate wholeheartedly alone. I was supposed to lit the candle and sing by myself but decided against it. It might seem all too pathetic na kasi.

'Twas one quiet birthday, I might even say lonely, but as I received greetings from love ones, I’d rather say it was peaceful. Sure, I practically spent it alone, I possibly even chose it to be that way. But seeing a love one’s name on my phone was enough to give me my momentary happiness, along with the possible caloric intake that the coffee cake gave. (I stopped only when I realized I was finishing half already, that was almost an A4 size bond paper.

Thus... let me take this opportunity to thank you all...

To those who greeted, thank you. TO my relatives whom I haven't really had time to save their digits, thank you as well, concrete (non verbal, wrapped in paer) greetings are most welcome (it's never too late).

To my best friend who gave his gift a week in advance, thanks. Busy ka kasi sa **** life. Hahanap ka nanaman ng taong sasaktan ka, sige lang. Haha.

To you who called at exactly 12 mn and sang with your great theatrical voice, you were the icing on the cake, you made my bday extra special. (Buti nalang di somewhere over the rainbow kinanta mo).

To you who made an effort to make me a poem, thanks. That will be the first of your text messages (forwarded kasi lahat) that I will surely save. I’ll await our pancit party next month. Naku magluluto si ate L, lalaitin nanaman yan ni E.

And …

To you, for my small happiness… thank you.

This must've been the quietest birthday ever. No fireworks, no balloons, no sex nor booze (joke lang, virgin pa po ako, lol), no parties, no spaghetti (but my dad brought pancit at the end of the day), but twas I guess... ok. Thank You for giving me another year. 4 more years to go.

P.S.

I’m still accepting gifts. LOL

And yes, I've stopped counting at 25. I plan to have another year of midlife crisis. Haha!

Joke lang, 26 napo ako.

Greet greet lang...

Happy Birthday kiddo! To Anne, sorry I wasn't there at your birthday. I'm currently in Cebu. Bawi ako promise.

This next one, I'd like to greet a "Putek! Gradweyt na pala ang adik! Manlibre ka naman!" hehe. Seriously, happy graduation Ms. Poisoning the Well.

Thank you (Last Bday Post)

A CakeA teddy, scrap book, a cake (plus a Marie Digby CD)
Fondue set, checkered scarf, cakeA cap, key holder/ signage, cologne/ perfume

It has been quite a long time since I last had a quick chat with God and thanked Him for all the blessings that I had. So I'm taking a short moment of my time to give Him all the praises.

Thank you Lord for this nice birthday. To say that I felt loved is an understatement. I was almost drowning in it (in a very good way).

Thank you Lord for the good food. I know you want to make me fat. To keep me from becoming "hot". I can settle for cute and cuddly.

Thank you Lord for all those who greeted me. I know you somehow made them remember somehow that your child deserves all the text messages, phone calls and whatever.

Thank you Lord for all of the gifts. I hope you didn't bully anyone to give all of them. But I do thank you not for the gifts of things but for the gifts of friends. Thanks for giving them to me.

Thank you Lord for friends who went out of their way just to give me a good bday celeb. Thanks to James for cooking tuna carbonara, lengua... etc. To tita jennet for cooking laing, pichy2x and puto and a surprise of homemade cheese cake.

Thank you Lord for new friends. Each day has been such a blessing. Sharing good food and tea and a real conversation is a treasure to cherish.

Thank you Lord for my family. Broken only by society's norm, but made whole by Your grace and love.

Thank you Lord for my work. I may complain a lot. But I know that you placed me where I am today. With this knowledge, I know you are always with me (deadlines, meetings, sleepless nights and all).

and lastly...

Thank you Lord for the gift of Love. That I may share it to others and more.

Today I turn 25 (Bday week post)

Today I turn 25. Each year has been different, but this year seems to be overflowing with all the love the world can offer. I woke up this morning with all the greetings on my phone, even from my singaporean boss.

But i'd thank them all in another post. This post is dedicated to my Crime buddy. She left Cebu yesterday, but never failed still to surprise me on my birthday. Ok, I guess i already expected something from her as she is one sweet thoughtful girl, but I never expected so much effort and sweetness. To say that I am overwhelemed is an understatement. i almost cried (seryoso).

I woke up this morning (albeit unwillingly), to the endless blinking of my phone. I forgot it was in silent mode. And the endless knock on my door.

"Room Service!!!," the girl outside my door said.

"Later!" I shouted in return and went back cuddling with my pillow.

"Room service!" this time it was a guy, "Later!" i repeated the same reply.

They say the third time was the charm, "Room service," again I shouted "later!!!!!"

Then the phone rang. It was Ritchie, the girl from the executive lounge. "Sir happy birthday! Can you open the door, the service crew is waiting at the door to give you something." So that's why all the kakulitan happened.

I opened the door, bewildered by the big Blue Magic bag the cake, and the book thingy that I cannot describe. (Bewildered also because i realised I was in front of Ritchie and two other crew while i was still in my towel, no clothes on, but as I said before, I am a semi-exhibitionist hehe). Like an excited kid, i immediately got hold of the goodies and slumped back in bed ready to open them all. And these are what I found:

1. Marriot cake. classic. sweet. chocolate.
2. A big huggble teddy bear. The fur was just right for hugging. hhmmmmmmmm!
3. A marie digby CD. hehe knowing Crime partner, she hated Marie with all of her life.
4. And a Scrapbook with my pictures in'em. All the effort. That was why Crime partner;s hand were stricken with allergies. Elmer's glue was the culprit.

So now, I thank you crime partner. Though you're now back in Manila, the distance didn't stop you from surprising me. thanks sooooooo much. I'll be flying back later on to Manila. And i will give you one big huggggg!!!!!

Thank you. You've made my birthday so special. with cherry on top.

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shameless plug:
See how sweet my crime buddy is????? Is there any taker out there? Stable, tall dark and handsome? You wouldn't regret having her as your girl. Each day will be a moment to remember. promise! For those interested, text me: 09189796300. hehehe.

Another Daddy Moment

(Its not yet my bday, sa thursday pa po, July 10)

Its my birthday month, I tell you. And its not helping much on my diet. darn. Last night my dad texted me telling me, bidding me not to stay out late. Reminded me that i have a flight to Cebu. I deliberately ignored the reminder thinking that my flight is not yet till in the afternoon. so, it didn't really matter if i stay up too late. Thus, the pasaway me heeded not my father's advise and stayed out late with friends.

Apparently, my dad still loves to surprise me. When I woke up this morning, my first destination was the fridge. And lo! What did i find? A birthday cake from one specialty bakeshop that my dad likes. He was supposed to surprise me last night. hmmmmmm.... bad kid...

hehe. But this morning was equally special. My dad had my stepmom cook me spaghetti (which i ate heartily with the cake). My sumptuous brunch before my 1pm flight. hmmm yummmm!

But of course, my dad woldn't fail to ruin my day. After finishing my meal, while standing somewhere overlooking the nice (I'm being sarcastic) view of our askal dog, I felt my dad go behind me and hold my waist... then as if on cue, muttered... "Ang taba taba na!" With that, I looked and digged deep for all the love i had for my dad, deep down in the recesses of my heart... but all was gone. Taba ha! Taba ha! Sino kaya mas mataba satin?

Then flashback... (twighlight zone sound nuni nuni nuni nuni nuni)... I remembered the crispy pata I ate at Abe's. The Pocher/ bulalao + lechon kawali in Cebu. The all you can eat rice. The cake. All the pastries and chocolates. The fried suman chocolate fondue.

And I now remember why I hate my birthday. I'm bound to really get all plumped up for market sale per kilo. Technically, Its my birthday month. All the inflow of good food just wouldn't stop. And now, i'm in Cebu. I can now feel all the future calories packing in my tummy.

Oh well, that's life. And i take that back. I love my dad. Though I'm thinking hard how will I get back at him for revenge. bwahahaha!

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Pahabol moment:
As usual with all my flights, I get to make another scene. I sorta slept at the mabuhay lounge and forgot the time. Suddenly as if God took over the speakers... he said, "Announcing the last call for passenger Jeffrey Gonzales, please board at gate S1. This is your last call."

Sosyal.

Post Birthday Greeting

It seems that my recent posts are... uhhm... technically are "post" event... finished... past... done with... too late...

But as the saying goes... "Huli man daw at magaling... nakakabati parin ng Happy Birthday" hehe.

Recently, I wasn't able to read my birthday alerts, and I missed out on one good friend. A blockmate, a fellow blogger. And I'm sorry dear me-an. I apologize for the late birthday greeting, thus I'm giving you a special spot on my blog (as if its enough, ung gift ko saka nalang, pulubi eh).

To you Me-ann, happy birthday! God bless!

To ya'll please do help me in making up for my forgetfullness and do greet Me-an through giving out a comment in her blog with the following format:

"From Jepoy's blogger friends:

Happy Birthday to you Me-an (or just insert your personnal greeting)

---- (your name/ blog link)"

July 10 - Mah Burdey!

Happy Birthday!

Yes, 'twas my birthday last week. Unfortunately, I spent my birthday working. I had to stay in a hotel, far away from relatives. Good thing, I had one of my colleagues to accompany me on this trip. She was kind enough to inform the hotel crew of my getting older and demanded... yes demanded that something must and should be prepared for me. 'Twas kinda wierd as it seems that the hotel sounded like it wasn't used to greeting its guests (on any occassion unless they reserved a function room for a party or something). But like I said, my friend was very determined and demanded that a cake be sent to my room by 7:00 am. (check out the cake, pure black native chocolate, or at least that's how it tasted... yuuuummmmm!).

We celebrated my birthday, though we were working, by eating... no, make that globbering some food. haha! A day before, we went to Golden Cowrie in Cebu. I wasn't able to take pictures so I'll just borrow some from wordpress.

The restaurant served it with a very unusual plate. It was kind of made of capiz (white sea shell)with a golden cowrie printed on top, but it wasn't cut out like a soup bowl or would have a reservoir for liquid food. It was plain flat which I first mistook for a placemat rather than a plate. Then they would place a newly heated banana leaf on top of the capiz plate. It was a new experience... and it was great! The food was delish! But I did wish we could've ordered more so that i could have tasted more dishes. I guess there could still be next time.

BTW, I'm now 24!!!!!!!!!

Till next ish!